The 4-Step Process
Now that you’ve made the choice to become more aware of your thoughts and take greater control of your outcomes — this is where the process begins.
These are the four steps. We’ll break them down first, and then in the next few chapters we’ll apply them to real situations in your life.
The 4 Steps
Ask – Believe – Do – Receive
- What do I want?
- See it. Believe it. Feel it.
- Take consistent, intentional action.
- Become it — and receive it.
Step 1 — What Do I Want?
“Begin with the end in mind.” — Stephen Covey
Do you know what you want — right now, in this moment?
Oftentimes we don’t get what we want because we’re not clear on what that is.
Instead, we move through situations reacting — letting circumstances or other people influence the outcome.
You’ve heard it before — “everything happens for a reason.” And I believe that’s true. But the reason is usually closer than we think. Cause and effect. Actions and outcomes. Choices and consequences.
If you want different results — you need to make different choices. And that starts with getting clear on what you actually want.
When You Don’t Know What You Want
Sometimes it’s not that simple.
It’s like when someone says, “What do you want to eat?” “I don’t care.”
So you suggest something… “No, not that.” Another option… “No, not that either.”
That usually means something important — you do know what you don’t want. You just haven’t defined what you do want yet.
A Simple Example
Think about being at a restaurant. If you sit there and never place an order, nothing comes out. Period. You can ask the server for suggestions. You can change your mind. But until you decide and ask for what you want, nothing happens.
Once your meal arrives, maybe you love it. Maybe you don’t. Maybe next time you order something different, or you’re a little more specific — extra lettuce, no onions. Either way, you learned something.
Bringing It Together
This isn’t just about big goals — health, relationships, or money.
It’s about outcomes. The outcome of a conversation. The outcome of your day. The outcome of a situation.
And it’s not just asking “What do I want?”
It’s asking “What am I choosing to move toward — clearly enough that I can commit to it?”
Because this is where things can break down. We kind of want something. We change our mind every few days. We say it out loud — but never really commit. And when nothing happens, we blame the timing, the method, other people, the universe.
But when you know what you want, your mind has direction. It’s like setting a destination in a GPS — now everything can start aligning to get you there. There may be detours along the way — just like in life — but at least you have a direction.
We’ll go deeper as we go — but everything starts with one question: What outcome do I want in this situation?
Step 2 — See it. Believe it. Feel it.
“Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” — Mark 11:24
“Just believe.” “Just visualize.” “Just say the words.”
And for a moment — it feels good. Lighter. Possible.
Belief does something. It opens you up. It gives you hope. It gets you moving again. Don’t discount that.
But most people stop there. They repeat the affirmations, make the vision board, say the words — and then wait. And when nothing changes, they quietly give up and go back to the same patterns. Just with better words in their head.
Books like The Secret touched on this. But a lot of people heard “think about what you want” and stopped there. The feeling piece got lost in the excitement of the idea.
Here’s what neuroscience tells us — when you vividly visualize something, your brain doesn’t clearly distinguish between what’s real and what’s vividly imagined. Athletes have used this for decades. It’s not mystical. It’s how the mind works.
Think about being a kid leading up to your birthday or Christmas. You weren’t just thinking about what you wanted — you felt it. That electric anticipation. The countdown. The absolute certainty that something good was coming. No doubt. No second-guessing. Just pure anticipation that it was already on its way.
Sure, there were times you didn’t get exactly what you wanted. That’s part of life — and usually where the growth is. But focus on the times you did. The times things worked out, sometimes even better than you expected. That feeling is what we’re after.
See it clearly. Believe it’s possible. Then feel it like it’s already coming. And as you get better at this — when you can hear it, smell it, almost taste it — you’re not daydreaming anymore. You’re training your mind to move toward it.
That’s when belief stops being a wish and starts becoming a direction.
Step 3 — Take Consistent, Intentional Action
“Visions without action are just hallucinations.” — Thomas Edison
Everything starts with a thought.
That’s not just philosophy — it’s history.
The light bulb. The airplane. Skyscrapers. The Hoover Dam. Every one of them started with someone asking — what do I want? They began with the end in mind. They saw it, believed it, felt it — and then they did something about it. Consistently, persistently, moving forward even when it wasn’t easy.
Nobody handed them a complete plan. They moved, adjusted, and overcame challenges. And once they saw the fruits of their labor — once it started working — they improved on it. It got easier. Each attempt built on the last.
That’s how it works for you too.
Thought without action stays a thought. Belief without movement stays a dream. At some point you have to do something — even if you can’t see the whole path yet.
You don’t need to know the how. You just need to know what to do next. Take that step with belief behind it — and the next one will reveal itself.
Step 4 — Become It. Receive It.
“As a man thinketh, so is he.” — Proverbs 23:7
You’ve asked for it. You’ve believed it. You’ve done the work. Now it’s time to receive.
This is where the language shifts. Early in the process you said I want. Then somewhere along the way — through the asking, the believing, the action — something changed. You started saying I am.
I am becoming someone who manages their finances. I am building something meaningful. I am the person who shows up consistently.
Not because you have proof yet. But because you’ve done the internal work to get there. And that declaration — I am — is how you close the gap between where you were and who you’re becoming.
Bob Proctor built his whole teaching around this idea. Journaling it. Saying it out loud. I am grateful now that I have… It feels uncomfortable at first. It might even feel dishonest. But that discomfort is just the old version of you making room for the new one.
At some point you stop waiting to become — and you just are.
You’ve probably heard about lottery winners who lose everything within a few years. It’s not bad luck. It’s that they never became a millionaire on the inside. The money showed up — but they didn’t. And eventually things returned to what felt familiar.
The same happens with weight loss. Someone works hard, loses the weight, hits the goal — but still sees the old version of themselves in the mirror. Still carries that old identity. And that’s when self sabotage quietly kicks in. Old habits start creeping back. Old patterns feel comfortable again. Because internally, nothing changed.
Whether it’s your finances, your health, your relationships, or your career — the principle is the same. It’s not just a goal you reach. It’s a lifestyle you grow into. And that requires changing how you think, how you act, and how you see yourself — consistently, over time.
This is where act as if comes in. Not faking it. Not pretending. But genuinely stepping into the version of yourself that already has what you’re moving toward. How does that person think? How do they carry themselves? How do they respond to setbacks?
Think about a time you got something you wanted — but it felt almost unreal. Like you were waiting for it to be taken away. Like you didn’t quite believe you deserved it. And maybe it did slip away.
That feeling is the gap between where you are and who you need to become.
And here’s something most people miss — don’t get locked into how it arrives. You might be so focused on one path that when what you asked for shows up a different way, you reject it without even realizing it. Stay open.
And when it starts showing up — in small ways or big ones — let yourself receive it. If someone compliments your progress, say thank you and mean it. If an opportunity comes that you asked for, don’t downplay it or second guess whether you deserve it. Own it. That’s part of becoming too.
Ask for it. Believe it. Do the work. And when it comes — be the person who can receive it.
That’s why Steps 1, 2, and 3 matter so much. Because Step 4 isn’t something you do — it’s something you become through the process. You ask, you believe, you act — and somewhere along the way, without even realizing it, you become the person who can hold what’s coming.
Because if it shows up before you’re ready — and it can — you might not even recognize it. Or worse, you might walk right past it.
The work you do in the first three steps isn’t just about getting there. It’s about becoming someone who’s ready when you arrive.
What’s Next
Now that you have the four steps, it’s time to put them to work.
The question most people ask at this point is: “Okay, but how do I apply this to my specific situation?”
That’s exactly where we’re going next.
We’ll walk through real world examples across the three areas most of us are always working on — health, relationships, and money. Starting with the small daily situations, building toward the bigger ones.
Let’s get into it.