Author: Ron Wilbanks

Letting go is hard to do.  We often stay in relationships because we do not want to be alone. Yes, there are good times and bad times, but shouldn’t the good times outweigh the bad? Consistency is important. I find it difficult to comprehend when a partner has the ability to say or do something mean because if you truly care for some one , I feel that you would not be able to do that. I do realize that honesty can be misunderstood as mean, critical or harsh but that is something that needs to be identified early on because if I can’t be honest with you then I can’t be with you, maybe in body but not fully in mind and spirit.

Letting go is hard to do even when you have tried but keep getting pushed away and you know in your heart that you are not happy in the current situation. We want to believe in change but when the same issues consistently arise, you must make a choice if you want to be happy.

They say that time heals everything. It does take time for us to heal, some of us heal and move on faster than others. I think part of the trick is to believe that you have given it your all and that you made the right choices. I often say to know what you want and that it is ok to have what you want, and I believe this applies to relationships as well. Why do so many of believe that there has to be conflict in order to have happiness? Once you believe that you deserve to be happy, you are open to learning and growing, don’t make quick decision based on emotions, are willing to be uncomfortably honest with your partner in asking and answering questions. If your intentions are pure and you trust that  your partners intentions are pure then you should be able to communicate openly  with out being nasty or taking anything personally because if you can’t be honest with each other about your true feelings, it will fester. I am not talking about being honest about your past or if you left the refrigerator door open, I am talking about true honest feelings.

The sooner you let go the sooner you will be able to move on. If you are satisfied with the things that you have said and done, if you know what you want, if you have learned from the experience, then it is time to let go. Letting go means being at peace with your choices. Trauma and drama should never be brought into a new relationship, this is only a recipe for failure.  If you have truly let it go and know what you want, then you will go forward with the expectation of receiving it. Bringing up past relationships only interjects those issues into the new relationship because you have not LET IT GO. Meditating helps and choose wisely who you get you advice from, you would not take financial advice from some one that is broke so do not take relationship advice from some one that is not happy. Life is a challenge which leads to growth, don’t create additional challenges and be open to grow.

P.S. How can I possibly be with you 100% if I am thinking about my past relationships? Forgive them, Forgive yourself and LET IT GO!